This Is All I Have To Give

What a weekend it has been so far! We know that the unexpected occurs often and we try to be prepared for it. However; being sick this week was not on my list. And believe me, right now I have many lists. I actually have a notebook, making it easier to keep things all in one place rather than bits of pieces on backs of grocery lists, business cards, gum wrappers and whatever else I would find laying around! Ah, I haven't been sick in Dec for over 10 years! Chills, sore throat and low grade fever. Please pray that it goes away quickly. I don't mind if it comes back, but it needs to wait until Dec 28th...yes, I ask to pray specifically.

Anyway, church was awesome today even though one family was ill and others are visiting family, going back home for the holidays. We got to our church building and there were posters that the Commune had put up with all the month's events and there it was Calvary Chapel Padova...Dec 27th Concert. So exciting!! Looking forward to seeing the Lord at work. If you are on our update mailing list I will be sending out a specific prayer request for this event. It's quite exciting if you ask me.

I don't like to commit to a certain schedule on the blog because things come up, I get busy, tired, and yes, even too lazy to want to write about anything. But, I did have an idea to write a little something in Dec as often as possible and put a song with it. There's another plan, but we have to trust the Lord for that one as it is one that needs much prayer and discipline!!

There's a song I heard a few years back and each time I listen to it, it touches my heart in a special way. There isn't one particular line in the song, it's a culmination of the words that makes it so meaningful to me.

This song is sung from Joseph's viewpoint. He's not talked about very much. He doesn't have much written about him in the bible and yet what an important role he had in the life of Jesus. I think he is such a great example of a willing heart without the recognition. Willing to obey without having much said or written about you. Once again, we see humility and obedience.

I like how in this song it brings up some thoughts Joseph may have had. A father and son relationship and how he envisioned it to be. Often we think of women as the only ones who dream and think about what their future family will be like. This song talks about Joseph and shows the heart of a father. A father who wants to give to his son, to teach him his trade, and to teach him the Word of God. He wants to give his child the best he can. What father dreams of his newborn son being born in a feed trough?

It makes me cry because, as a parent, I have asked these same questions and I know that my husband has too. As parents, perhaps many of us have had dreams about how we were going to raise our children, the opportunities we wanted to afford them and life we wanted to give them. Many times, it doesn't work out as we dreamed or planned in our minds.

As a father, I can honestly say that one of the greatest pains in my husband's life was when both of our daughters got married and he wasn't able to give them anything towards their wedding. He felt ashamed as their father that he couldn't do this. Don't think that satan didn't have a field day with that!!! I will say that the girls are understanding and didn't ask for anything. But, the point is that as a Dad of girls, you know that one day you will be giving your daughters a wedding.

I remember when Marla graduated high school. I couldn't give her a big party like we had give her 2 older sisters. We were back in the states and I went to Costco with a friend who was giving her daughter a party and shopping for it. I have to tell you, I couldn't wait to get out of there and go somewhere where no one else was and just cry that it wasn't me shopping for my daughter. I wasn't upset with my friend, just sad that it couldn't be my daughter receiving all this. It makes it harder when they are humble and don't even expect anything!!

Our daughters are wonderful. My sweet Marla has one of the best attitudes at her age than most people I know. Does she struggle? Of course. But, she, like her older sisters know that this is God's will in our lives. He is our life, our love, our everything and as we obey His call, He watches over her. She has been able to see God provide miracle after miracle for her. So even though we as parents can't always give to our children the things we may desire to give them, we can trust that God has them in the palm of His hands and that He will provide for their every need. I have seen people help her in so many ways that often I believe we are more blessed than before going on the mission field. We get to witness the faithfulness of God over and over. And yes, I have thought at times it would be nice if someone else could experience this rather than us, but that thought doesn't usually last long :)

Once again, in Joseph's life, we see that obedience often costs something. It involves a willingness to surrender your ways, your thoughts and your plans to His ways, thoughts and plans. It involves sacrifice.

Do we have any greater example of sacrifice than than God Himself? Willingly giving us His Only Son, The Son of God becoming the Son of Man, the sacrificial Lamb.

Now, I have to say that because I am me and my mind does often start to wonder and wander, I listen to this song and start to think:

-as a Dad, Joseph would teach his children the scriptures and so he would teach Jesus. I couldn't help but wonder if he ever mistakenly said something and Jesus would correct him. Seriously...I am not being disrespectful-but did you ever think about it? Would you be nervous to teach the Word Incarnate the Word???

Then this is a strange thought too....Jesus was perfect, so did he never pout or roll his eyes at Mary, or get into mischief when he was a toddler?
I can't help it-these thoughts do enter my mind. Did He never have a temper tantrum? Please don't go nuts on me for thinking this way. It's not meant in a bad way at all-just honest thoughts!

I think about His brothers and sisters and wonder if they accused Mary and Joseph of loving Him more-have you ever thought this scene in your mind "You love Jesus more because He is perfect" ok-am I off my rocker???

Don't you ever think like this or am I just crazy? I mean He became a man-He was that little child growing up.

I just cannot imagine what it was like to be the earthly father of Jesus!!! I think I would be so intimidated about doing everything wrong. You know as a parent you sometimes think in your head something about your kids right-like 'oh gosh dear not again!! or ok, enough already child, we won't even get into the thoughts we think when they are teens! So, did Joseph ever have a negative thought about Jesus as his son? And if he did, then Jesus would already know about it! Oh gosh, why do I think like this???!!! It must be the fever making me delirious lol!!

Ok-I am probably freaking everyone out by now with my thoughts so I will stop now :)

Back to Joseph....I think what we can learn from Joseph is that we can offer whatever we have back to the Lord. It doesn't matter if we are rich, if we have barely enough money to get by, if we live month to month. What matters is the heart. Our obedience, our willingness, submitting to His call, His ways. The title of this song says a lot-This Is All I Have To Give, and yet, it was enough. It was enough for his Son. What he had to give, he gave and that is what ultimately mattered.

It's ok to say 'this is all I have to give'. If it attached to a humble heart, and a genuine love for God, then it is enough!